A Mimicked Life
by ShadedHeart Lamora
Summary: Gogo feels alone, and starts to think of his/her past. Those thoughts hurt, and Shadow of all people tries to cheer the mimic up. Then Setzer comes with a proposal of a drinking game. Probably better than it sounds.


Right... This is a Gogo fanfic. It's not good. And I'm not good at writing. Plus I totally suck at english. So yeaaah... anyway, Gogo goes angst and identity crisis a la Cloud Strife, and Shadow of people tries to cheer the mimic ... Or probably not.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gogo or Shadow or any other character. They are all property of Square Enix. I don't even own the computer on which the story is written, it's my mother's. I only own the crappy story and that's nothing to be proud of.

Gogo sat alone in the room Setzer had shown. Alone, yes, Gogo felt like the most lonely creature in the world right now. Not even Shadow with all his 'I'm-a-ninja-and-I'm-one-with-the-night-so-back-off-or-I'll-slit-your-throat attitude could get as lonely as the mimic. At least they knew that Shadow was a man. Nobody knew if this being was a man, a woman or even a human.

And Gogo was not going to tell them.

N e v e r.

Gogo would never let its cover be blown.

Gogo would never tell them who it was, why it looked like a wandering heap of cloth with eyes, why it only mimicked its allies' attacks instead of attacking itself.

And Gogo would definitely never tell them that it was hopelessly in love with one of the group's members.

'That would ruin everything, this façade I've built up, this charade I'm playing, this new personality I've created to hide myself from the rest of the world. Hide myself, hide my face, my mind, my heart, my black, cold heart, and the crime I once committed. If they knew, they would hate me. if they knew, they would throw me out from their circle of trust and friendship, and I would be alone in the cold darkness.

And I don't want to be alone any more. Nobody is as lonely as I am. Shadow has Interceptor, Gau may not have his father but he has Sabin and anyone could tell that Sabin likes Gau, even though he tries to hide it and pretends to be annoyed by that green-haired boy. Cyan may not have his wife and son any more, but everybody likes him and his quaint way of talking, he still has friends. Terra also has friends. And she's probably the only one who doesn't see that those Figaro twins are in love with her. Although Edgar is in love with anything that moves and looks feminine.

Will I ever be loved by someone?

Probably not. Look at me... I know that they call me 'it' when they don't think I can hear them. They don't know whether I'm a man or a woman. Normally, you'd be able to tell by the look of the eyes, but I look so...androgynous.

No, Gogo, master of the simulacrum, you'll never be loved. After all, you're nothing but a simulacrum yourself. An illusion made up by the twisted mind that once were you. You don't even have a life... You just mimic someone else's... And that's how it all started, isn't it? She told you to get a life of your own...'

Gogo had started to shake. The body, covered in colourful pieces of cloth, shivered and twitched.

"These memories... I don't want them... They aren't mine!"

Gogo hadn't realized that it had screamed out the last sentence, and that it had used its normal voice.

'If anybody heard...'

Gogo froze with terror. Then it listened carefully.

But nothing was to be heard.

'If I'm lucky, they're all in their rooms or playing poker and drinking. If I'm unlucky...then someone heard.'

Gogo rose from the bed, and swiftly went to the door. It opened the door, went out and looked around. It couldn't see anybody.

Gogo sighed with relief. Something made itself free from the shadows of the part of the corridor that wasn't lit up.

"Anything wrong, Gogo?"

"Shadow... you heard me?"

"You mean that little scream of yours?" The ninja got closer to the mimic. "Oh yes, I heard you. So... All this time you've been hiding it."

"Shadow, please don't tell the others... Please!" There was no use to disguise the voice.

The ninja gave Gogo a long gaze.

"No, I shan't tell them. We're friends, right?"

"I... I guess so. Thank you, Shadow."

"Not at all. I guess we're the same. Hiding from our memories, covering our faces with masks, creating new personalities and not letting anybody inside our minds... Am I right?"

Gogo stared at the ninja with big, green eyes.

"Yes, we're the same, Shadow, we are. But... I think neither of us can hide for ever."

"No. You can't run from you past, your present, your future, your destiny... You're so right, Gogo. Or what should I call you?"

"Please, just say 'Gogo'. It's been so long, I don't even remember my own name. I was in that cave for quite a while, you know."

"How long?"

"Almost six years... I was barely an adult when I got there. And now... Now I'm a creature with no life, just a mimicked life. And I've got no one. No one who loves me... And I'll never have."

Gogo began to cry. Then the mimic could feel Shadow's hand on the shoulder. Gogo looked up, and met Shadow's blue eyes.

"Don't worry, Gogo. You will be loved by someone. Actually... You know, people tend to talk to me when they're troubled. not that I would care, at least they don't think I would. And they also know that I wouldn't tell anyone else about their secrets, And I know... There's one person who...likes you. This person don't even know if you're a man or a woman, and yet...this person said that he or she - I won't tell you which - always got caught by your eyes. This person said you had beautiful eyes. So don't worry. If you were to reveal yourself, you sure would get loved. And we, your friends, love you, though in a different way. Don't forget that.

Gogo sniffed. "Thank you, Shadow. I'm such a sissy... Even though I act as cold and hard as you."

The mask hid Shadow's face, only showing the ninja's eyes, and yet Gogo could've sworn that the man in black smiled.

"Yes, you're right," he replied. "I act cold and hard, but I'm not. Not any more. Things have changed since I met all of you. Things can change for you, too. Remember that. Now that that mad clown is gone, you can do whatever you want with your life. Maybe even give up the mimic thing. You know... I'm about to give up this ninja thing I've been doing for so long. Live a normal life with my daughter."

"You...you have a daughter?" Gogo couldn't believe its ears.

"Yes, I do. Relm. Couldn't you tell? Interceptor likes her."

"Yeah, but I never would've guessed... It seems like you have an even more complex past than I."

"Maybe I do," the ninja answered. "When you feel that you're ready, then tell the others. Tell them who you are. I guess they're all dying to hear your story. I must admit that I'm rather curious myself."

"Very well, then..." Gogo said. "When I feel that I'm ready, I'll tell you. Until then, please don't tell them my secret."

"I won't. Trust me."

"I do."

They heard footsteps. They both turned to face whoever it was that was coming. Setzer, the albino airship pilot and gambler, smiled as he saw them.

"Ah, there you are, my masked friends! We're having a drinking game. Would you care to join? We can't let Sabin win, now can we?"

The ninja and the mimic looked at each other. Shadow raised an invisible eyebrow.

"What do you say, Gogo?"

"Yeah, let's," Gogo answered, with the disguised voice they all were used to. "I think I have too mush on my mind right now. A little too much wine would definitely lighten my burden. Great idea, Setzer."

They followed the gambler to the room where the others was. The Figaro twins looked quite drunk, but they had a bottle of wine each and was drinking, staring at each other.

Shadow looked at Gogo. The mimic's eyes smiled.

"Setzer, give me a straw and I'll beat those alcoholic twins. I'll show them that you don't have to take off you mask to outmatch them in a drinking game."

All he people clapped their hands at the mimic's comment. The Figaro twins, Edgar Roni Figaro and Sabin Rene Figaro, looked a little worried. They had no idea whether this heap of cloth could drink or not.

Gogo looked around at all these people, smiling back at the mimic. And suddenly, Gogo didn't feel so lonely any more. Because Gogo had these humans and creatures, and they were the mimic's friends.

So like... review?


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